Category: Turk Melrose

Since I have been back it’s been ‘back to business’ right away, ugh! Anyway, a couple wrap ups about my trip to visit Vance. First off, let me tell you about my bad luck streak the day before and the day of my flight over there – for me bad things (and good things) tend to happen in three’s. First, I was driving to work early last Saturday and right out in front of my work it is all parallel parking. So someone was waiting for another car to leave and blocking the lane, so myself and the car in front of me went around. Both of us in turn almost hit another car that was pulling out that we couldn’t see from the other side of the car that was blocking the lane. We both made it – but the women in front of me then proceeded to T-bone a car in the next intersection, and the best part is she then backed up really fast without looking and hit me. Ugh! After about 15 minutes of confusion she, the car she hit, and myself all pulled off to the side. I got out and looked at my car, it was thankfully just a broken fog light. So I asked her for her phone number and said I would send her a bill for the light. The woman was old and she was obviously going to have to have the entire front end of the car she hit replaced, plus the front and back bumpers of her own car – so I felt no need to stick around and file a report and or insurance claim for what is most likely a fifteen dollar fix. Plus, I could care less about my current ride, it’s pretty ghetto – it’s a Nissan Maxima that’s nearly as old as me…I miss my Prius :(. Second, that night at work we got really busy and  I was making a top shelf margarita when the Cointreau (orange liqueur) ran out. So I grabbed another bottle and it somehow slipped from my hand directly onto my foot from about 5 feet up. If you have ever seen a liter bottle of cointreau they are quite heavy. It hurt so bad – the bottle was still in one piece cause it bounced off my foot and the rubber mats we have, but my foot the next day walking to my gate at the airport was entirely black and blue and at one point I was pretty much limping. Third…so I board my plane and I immediately put my carry-on and a sweater I had brought under the seat in front of me. Then I put on my headphones and listened to music. I noticed the guy in front of me walk up to the front of the plane shortly before they closed the door and then return to his seat. Halfway through the flight I got cold and reached for my sweater. Come to find out, the guy in front of me had given it to a flight attendant to take off the plane thinking it had been left from the previous flight…Really??? Before doing something like that wouldn’t you have the common sense to look around you and ask if it belonged to anyone? I’m sure he thought he was doing his good deed for the day but now here I am with an injured foot, cold, and another 4 hours till my destination. Ay! So now I’m just waiting for the three good things to start lol. I will say this, one good thing about flying is that the gay flight attendants nearly always give me free cocktails. Yay! Once I arrived I had lots of fun with Vance and his friends…not to mention, lots of “sexy time” as he calls it lol. It sucked to have to leave. I will be uploading our private photos from throughout the last five years in the next couple of weeks. The gallery will be added to Vance’s page in the meber’s area and called ‘Turk & Vance: The Private Collection’ – so look out for it Anyway, love you all and I am happy to be back to you!!!

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THREESOMES

I lost a day with all the traveling – but ‘Mission: Surprise Vance’ went off without a hitch. He was very surprised for his birthday and was still in bed when I arrived and a few of his friends showed up to bake him a cake and dinner. As you can see he was still in his pajamas lol. We all had fun hanging out together and playing drinking games. Keep in mind we haven’t actually had physical contact with each other since July…so we went to town lol. I’ll keep you updated as much as I can till I return late on Thursday

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TURK MASON AND VANCE WINTER

HAPPY EARTH DAY!!! THINK ABOUT COMMITTING TO LIVING A BIT GREENER…ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ADDS UP!!! I am thinking today of how busy I am going to be once school starts next month. Between school, the website, bartending, photo and video shoots, and all the events and awards shows – I don’t know when I am going to sleep I just spent the last 3 hours this morning scheduling my life for the next six months. Sheesh! Well, at least things should slow down a bit after I graduate and get a ‘regular’ job – maybe…I hope lol.

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EARTH DAY

Is it possible to love a pair of underwear? I think it is lol. I have just been turned on (in more ways than one haha) to the brands N2N & Obviously. Unlike other bulge enhancing underwear brands that use padding to make your penis appear fuller, and often end up being uncomfortable to wear – these two brands use only what your mama gave you, no false advertising. They are simply cut in such a way that they lift your cock and balls forward without annoying cock rings or hard elastic. They are super comfortable and super hot! I feel like a salesperson right now lol – no I was not paid to say these things LOL . If you don’t have a pair, you should get some! SPEAKING OF UNDERWEAR, BOTH ON AND OFF…REMEMBER LIVE CAM AND CHAT TOMORROW (WEDNESDAY) 7PM PST / 10PM EST

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UNDERWEAR LOVE

On my way back from Miami I picked up Chelsea Handler’s book ‘My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands’ and I think I may have pissed off the guy next to me because I was laughing out loud the entire 6 hour flight back. I love Chelsea, she’s a genius. Here are just a few quotes I liked… “I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people. Furthermore, sleeping around with midgets is a great way to meet midgets. The great thing about sleeping with a midget is that first you get to have sex with them and then you can use them as a pillow.” (It should be noted that Chelsea is the least prejudiced person on earth and shares hosting duties on her E! TV show CHELSEA LATELY with Chuy Bravo, her ‘little nugget’ ) “It’s my personal belief that if men are writing poems, they’re making up for something else. Like a big hairy back, or one ball. Not that one ball is a bad thing. Especially since I don’t know any females who are dying to get their hands on a set of balls. The way I see it, the less balls the better.” “When I told Ivory the next morning about how small his penis was, she said, “Gosh, Chels, you didn’t need to leave him there, he could have been good at other things.” “Like what?” I asked her, …. ”Math?”” “I used to live with a twenty-eight-year old virgin. That’s right. Not a Mormon, not a religious thing, just plain stupid.” “There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.” “I was struggling to come up with ways to get him to leave, but I was too exhausted. I tried to fart, but nothing came out.” “He responded with a scream that sounded similar to a cat getting gangbanged.” Chelsea’s version of ‘The Bachelor’ – “It would involve me having sex with all the contestants and then eliminating them based on their penis size.” If you have never seen Chelsea’s stand-up or read one of her books I HIGHLY recommend you do. And since we are on the topic of funny things, I thought I might share with you a few pics from the other night out that about sum up my existence, lol. One is INCREDIBLY UN-FLATTERING, but sometimes you have to make fun of yourself. Haha.

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ARE YOU THERE CHELSEA HANDLER? IT’S ME, TURK